Total Drama Me!
by HaroldPWNS
Summary: A fanfic about me on TDI/A, only with me replacing DJ. What will happen with my intervention? Find out!
1. Preview

This is my first fanfic. It is about the show Total Drama Island/Action, only with me in it (replacing DJ). What twists will come to the episodes with my intervention? Find out right now on Total....... Drama......... Me!

Preview

Dear Jack:

Congratulations! The producers of TDI have chosen you and 21 other teenagers to compete in a reality TV show. You will report to the dock at Galveston Bay at 9 AM tomorrow to ride the boat. You will be staying at a five-star resort on an island while competing with the other contestants for $100,000! See you there!

The Producers of TDI

Short, I know, but more will come later.


	2. Chapter 1 Not So Happy Campers Part 1

Sorry for the double post. POST PEOPLE! Anyways, here's the first chapter.

Chapter 1: Not So Happy Campers Part 1

I sat on the boat looking around nervously. It was nerve racking, knowing I would be competing for 100 grand. The blue waves were rocking up and down by the speed of the boat. I sat on my seat, clutching my tennis racket in its sleek black case.

Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Jack, and I was heading to a sweet resort to compete in a reality TV show for $100,000. I am tall, have brown hair, a lot of freckles, glasses, and was wearing a black collared shirt with red shorts and white shoes. I play a lot of tennis and am……… kind of nerdy. Ignore that.

I lay down. It was taking a while to get there, considering I had to take the boat all the way from Texas to Canada. Speaking of the boat, it was really run down. Apparently this show was on a budget.

Suddenly, I saw an island up ahead. Finally. I moved all my luggage and my tennis racket into one place. I was so excited to be in the competition.

A little of the excitement died as I looked back up. It was definitely not a luxurious five-star resort as explained, but it looked more like a really run-down summer camp. I could now tell that this may not be as exciting as planned.

Finally, the boat docked on the broken dock. I saw that about ten of the campers were already there. I breathed deeply and stepped on to the dock with all my luggage. I looked at the campers again, now that they were closer. There was an overly-happy looking girl with braces and a green shirt and a sash, a gloomy goth girl with big black boots, a guy with sandals, a pink shirt, and a cowboy hat, a slim blonde with cowboy boots (very sexy, if I might add), a girl with long black hair and a nasty glare (hey, I rhymed!), a punk with a skull shirt and a green Mohawk, a guy in red sportswear and a head band, a nerd that reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite (I thought I might hang out with him), and a black haired guy with a guitar. I thought this might be interesting at that point.

"Hello! Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!" said Chris McLean. I forgot to mention that he would be hosting the show. He had black hair and a very white smile.

"Uh, thanks," I said while looking around before looking back at Chris. "But I thought you said this was at a resort, not some cruddy summer camp!" I said angrily. "Yeah, I lied," said Chris, still smiling. Apparently, he enjoyed people's misery. "Well, I'm totally pissed," I said as I walked down the dock to the other campers. "Join the club," said the goth girl.

Next came another girl. She had blonde hair in a ponytail and a blue hoodie. She was carrying a surfboard. I thought she looked nice. As in her personality, I mean.

"Hey, what's up?" she said, putting the end of her surfboard on the dock. "All right! Our super chick, Bridgette, is here!" said Chris.

The punk snorted. "Nice board," he said sarcastically "This ain't Malibu, honey." I glared at him. I didn't think I would like him much.

"I thought we were going to be on a beach," said Bridgette. "We are!" said Chris, pointing to the beach beside us. It was, like the rest of the island, very dirty and littered. A seagull was sitting there, but was washed away. Bridgette sighed. "Great," she said, going to pick up her stuff. "OK, that makes-"Chris started to say, but he got wacked in the head by Bridgette's surfboard. "Ow! Darn it! That hurts!" he groaned while rubbing his head.

"Hey guys!" said Bridgette as she walked up to us. "Hey, I'm Geoff," said the cowboy hat guy as he moved to the other side of Bridgette. "What's up?" she said, turning to Geoff which swung her board around, nearly hitting some of us. "Dang, watch the board man!" said the nerd as he stood up straight. That reminded me that I wanted to meet him. As Bridgette turned to meet the overly-happy girl who introduced herself as Beth (nearly hitting us with her surfboard again), I turned to the nerd.

"Hey, I'm Jack," I said as I turned to him. "I'm Harold," he said as he turned to me, "Wanna be friends?" Well, that was sudden, but I didn't really mind. He was kind of like me. "Sure," I said with a smile. I turned back to the dock as the next boat pulled in.

"Our-ugh-next camper is Noah," Chris said, still rubbing his head, as Noah stepped onto the dock. He was tall, with long brown hair and a sweater vest. "You got my memo about my life threatening allergies?" asked Noah as he walked down the dock. "Sure someone did." said Chris gleefully. "Good. Is this where we're staying?" Noah asked lazily.

"No, it's your mother's house, and we're throwing a party!" the punk said as he put his hand in his fist. He was the exact opposite of me. "Cute. Nice piercings original, do them yourself?" Noah asked the punk. "Yeah, you want one?" the punk said while pulling out Noah's lip. I didn't really want to see the rest, so I turned away.

A girl was up on the deck waving her hand. She was black, had some big….. um, stuff, and looked loud and proud. "What's up ya'll, LeShawna's in the house!" she called out before she stepped onto the dock. Harold gasped. I had no idea why.

"Yo, baby, what you doin', how's it goin'?" LeShawna asked as she high-fived Chris. I found out I was right about the loud and proud thing. "Feel free to quit now and save yourselves the trouble 'cause I came to win," she said as she strutted down the dock. "Oh, what's up sugar baby!" she said as she high-fived me. I was thinking about what to say when Harold peered in.

"I've never seen a girl like you in real life before," said Harold. What? Leshawna had the same thought. "Excuse me?" she said questioningly. "You're real big. And loud," Harold said. Man that was such a bad move.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" she yelled as everyone stepped away, "You have not seen anything yet! I'll show you big, baby!" She lunged at Harold, so me and Bridgette had to hold her back. Harold struck a weird karate pose as LeShawna tried to break free of our grasp. "All right campers, break it up!" yelled Chris. We let go of LeShawna, and Harold gave her a weak smile. I smiled at Bridgette as I planned to talk to her later.

The next boat pulled up and two girls stepped out. They looked exactly alike, as they both had black hair in pigtails and striped skirts. The only differences were that one was tall, thin, and had dark skin, and the other was short, fat, and had light skin.

"Ladies, Katie, Sadie, welcome to you new home for eight weeks!" he said as he pointed to the camp. To my surprise, Katie said "Oh my gosh, Katie, look, a summer camp!" "OK, I always wanted to go to summer camp! Eeeeeeeeeeee!" she cried as they both clapped and ran down the dock, leaving Chris to scratch his head. I thought I might talk to them too. They seemed……. fun.

Quickly, another boat pulled up and a boy stepped out. He had brown hair and was wearing a beanie and green hoodie. "Ezekiel, what's up man?" Chris said, sticking out his hand for a high-five. Instead, Ezekiel looked up and said "I think I see a bird." I thought he was an idiot, but the guitar guy chuckled. Chris had a "private talk" with him before he joined us. "That's just…….. wow." said the goth as the next boat pulled up.

A boy stepped out. He had light brown hair and wore a sweater. "Cody. The Codester. The Code-meister!" Chris said as he high-fived him. "Thanks Chris. Psyched to be here!" Cody said, strutting down the dock. "I see the ladies have already arrived," he said, walking past the blonde girl, Bridgette, and LeShawna. He went to say something to LeShawna, but she covered his mouth and said "Save it, short stuff."

I was kind of scared when I saw a strong-looking woman step on the dock. She had black hair in a ponytail, purple clothes, and a mole. "Eva, nice. Glad you could make it." said Chris as Eva walked down the dock. Cody stuck his hand out for a high-five, but Eva dropped her bag on his foot. He picked his foot up in pain. "What'cha got there, dumbbells?" asked Cody. "Yes" said Eva. Scary, I thought. "She's all yours man," the punk said to me. No way.

Suddenly, someone shouted "WOOHOO!" I saw a big guy on the dock. And by big, I mean fat. REALLY fat. He also had blonde hair and a leaf shirt. The fat guy started shouting about how awesome it was to be there. "Owen, welcome!" Chris shouted while plugging his ear. Owen then hugged him way too tight and said "Awesome to be here man! WOOHOO! This is so….so…" He stupidly couldn't find the word. "Awesome?" suggested the goth girl. "Yes!" shouted Owen, "Are you gonna be on my team?" "Oh I sure hope so," she said while making the cuckoo sign. "You about finished?" asked Chris, still being hugged. Owen let him down. "Sorry dude, I'm just so psyched!" he shouted. "Cool," said Chris, "and here comes Courtney."

There was a girl riding in on the next boat. She had straight brown hair, a frill grey shirt, and green pants. She waved to all of us before Chris took her hand and led her down. "Thank you," Courtney said as she walked pass Chris. She was very formal. "Hi. You must be the other contestants. It's really nice to meet you all," Courtney said as Owen turned around. She must have gone to charm school or something. Owen shook her hand rapidly. "How's it goin'? I'm Owen." he said, still shaking her hand. "Nice to meet you, Ohhh…….. wow," Courtney said as she turned around and saw the next boat coming.

On it was another boy. And he was BEAUTIFUL. He had shiny black hair, a dazzling smile, deep blue eyes, a green shirt, and jeans. All the girls (and, um, Owen) were looking at him dreamily. He smiled, and some of the girls fainted. Wow.

The boy got off the boat. "This is Justin," Chris said introducing him. "Welcome to Total Drama Island," Chris said, giving him a fist pump. "Thanks Chris, this is great," said Justin. "Just to let you know, we picked you based entirely on your looks," Chris said. "I can deal with that," Justin replied, starting to walk down the dock.

Owen ran up to Justin as he walked. "I like your pants," Owen complimented. I thought it was weird to say something like that. "Thanks man" said Justin, still walking. "Cause they look like they're all worn out," Owen continued, "Did you buy them like that?" Justin was still walking. "Uh, no, just had them for a while," he replied as girls continued to star dreamily at him. "Oh, cool. Stupid….." Owen said to himself as he turned and slapped his forehead. It was at that moment I realized why Owen was talking to Justin like that.

Owen was gay.

I realized that only one person was left to come, and soon enough the next boat came. There was a redhead waving her hand wildly. She had a green tank top and some weird green skirt thing. "Hey everyone, Izzy!" said Chris. "Hi Chris! Hi! Hi!" Izzy said while running down the deck of the boat. Suddenly, she tripped on the rail and flew off the boat, hitting her chin on the edge of the dock. I winced, then ran toward her with Courtney. The jock snickered. "Guys, she could be seriously hurt." scolded Courtney as we both pulled Izzy out of the water. She shook the water off herself like a dog.

"That was so…….. good! Except for hitting my chin. This is summer camp? That is so cool! Do you have paper mache here? Are we having lunch soon?" Izzy said rapidly and crazily. I thought she was some sort of psycho. "That is a good call!" said Owen excitedly. I hate him.

"First things first. We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone on the end of the dock," Chris said. We all went to the edge of the dock. I posed leaning back on nothing next to the blonde on the end. Chris held up the camera. "OK, 1,2,3…. Oh, whoops, forgot the lens cap," said Chris. He pressed a button and the lens cap came up. "Hold that pose. 1….2…. Oh, no wait, card's full. Hold on," Chris said. This was getting annoying. Apparently Leshawna had the same thought. "Come on man, my face is starting to freeze," she said. "OK, got it!" Chris finally said. "Everyone say "Wawanakwa"!" "WAWANAKWA!" we all cried out. But as the picture was taken, I heard a loud crack below us. Apparently, the cruddy dock couldn't hold our weight, and it broke. We all fell into the water, people getting soaked and gasping for air.

"OK, everyone dry off and meet me at the campfire pit in 10!" Chris said, apparently not caring that we were all miserable. I sighed. This would be a long 8 weeks.

I got out of the water, dried off my clothes, and ran to the campfire. Most of the campers were already there. Once the rest had shown up, Chris began.

"This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next 8 weeks," Chris said. "The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends." I looked around at Harold (who was getting a glare by the punk), Bridgette, Katie and Sadie. "The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000!" Chris continued.

"Excuse me," the punk interrupted, "what will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under her," he said, pointing to the girl with the glare I mentioned earlier. "They're not co-ed, are they?" she asked nervously, apparently not wanting to spend much time with him. I didn't blame her.

"No," Chris said as-a-matter-of-factly, "Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other." I was somewhat sad. Did I mention I was kind of desperate for a girlfriend?

The blonde raised her hand. "OK, Cowell, can I get a cabin with a lake view since I'm the prettiest?" she asked dumbly. Well, I figured out she wasn't the sharpest knife in the cabinet.

"Ok, you are," Chris said, annoyed, "but that's not really how it works here. And, it's Chris." Then, Katie held Sadie's hand and said "I have to live with Sadie, or I'll die," as she looked at Sadie. "And I'll break out in hives. It's TRUE," added Sadie. They were both very clingy, apparently.

"This cannot be happening," said the goth gloomily. Owen then grabbed her and the jock's neck. "Come on guys, it'll be fun! It's like a big sleepover!" he said excitedly. That was one really happy guy. "At least you don't have to sleep next to him," the jock said, motioning over to the punk who was giving a noogie to a deer.

"OK, here's the deal, we're going to split you into two teams," Chris said. Now I could learn more people names. "If I call out your name go stand over there," he continued, pointing to a nearby spot.

"Gwen (apparently the goth chick), Trent (the guitar dude), Heather (the girl with the glare), Cody, Lindsay (the dumb blonde), Beth, Katie, Owen, LeShawna, Justin, and…… Noah," Chris listed. "From this moment on you are all officially known as……" He tossed Owen a green banner which had a gopher in a fighting stance on it. "The Screaming Gophers!" Owen looked happy (as usual). "Yes! I'm a Gopher! Woohoo!" he shouted.

"Wait!" cried out Katie, looking around. "What about Sadie?" I had noticed this too. Katie was the only person who I wanted to talk to that was on the other team. Chris seemed to ignore her.

"The rest of you, over here," Chris continued, motioning to another spot. "Geoff, Bridgette, Jack (I smiled), Tyler (the jock), Sadie, Izzy (Uh oh, I thought), Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan (the punk, who was still noogieing the deer), Eva (who was lifting weights), and….. Harold! Move, move, move, move!" Chris cried as we started to run. I was happy that most of the nice people were on my team, but I was upset that a lot of people I thought I might not like were also on my team, like Duncan and Eva.

Only Sadie and Courtney hadn't moved. "But Katie's a Gopher! I have to be a Gopher!" Sadie cried out. Courtney put her hand on Sadie's back. "Sadie, is it? Come on. It'll be okay," said Courtney as she made Sadie start walking with her. "This is so unfair! I miss you Katie!" Sadie cried out as she walked away. Katie was on the verge of tears. "I miss you too!" she cried out as Sadie walked away. I felt bad for them both.

As soon as Sadie and Courtney joined us, Chris tossed Harold a red banner with a fish on it. "You guys will officially be known as……" Chris said, "The Killer Bass!" Harold was in awe. "It's awesome. It's like…. amazing," he said.

"All right campers," Chris continued, "you and your team will be on camera in all public areas." He then went into the outhouse. "You will also be able to reveal your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anyone time you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking. Or just get something off your chest. Gwen, Lindsay, a……. duck, and Owen went in, then we all left. I thought I might be using that a lot.

"All right. Any questions?" Chris asked as we got back to the campfire pit. "Cool," he replied before anyone even had a chance to raise their hands. "Let's find your cabins."

As we walked to the cabins, I realized that Bridgette, Katie, and Sadie were all walking together. I ran up to them. "Hi, I'm Jack," I said. "I noticed you girls all seemed nice, and I thought…… maybe….. we could be friends?" I asked nervously. "Whoa, slow down, we barely know you," said Bridgette. "What do you like to do?"

So we all started talking. I liked them, and they seemed to like me. It made me feel more confident to know that I already had a lot of friends. Once we got to the cabins, I told them I would introduce them to Harold later.

"Gophers, you're in the east cabin, Bass, you're in the west," Chris said. Harold, Duncan, Tyler, Geoff, Ezekiel, and I all went into the guys' side of the Bass cabin, chose bunks (I was with Harold), and started unpacking. Geoff peered out the door.

"Chris, will there be any chaperone in this facility?" he asked like a gentleman, though I doubted he was much of one. "You're all 16," Chris replied, "as old as a Counselor in Training at a regular summer camp. So, other than myself, you'll be unsupervised. You've got a half hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge, starting….. now!" Chris finished, walking away. "Nice," Geoff replied.

I had just finished unpacking when I heard a deafening shriek from the Gopher cabin. I ran over and peered in the room with everyone else. "Oh man, that white girl can scream," said LeShawna.

Lindsay was the only one in the cabin. She was standing on a chair, leaning back in fear. On the ground was a tiny cockroach. "What is it? KILL IT! KILL IT!" Lindsay yelled for atop her chair. Noah screamed like a girl and jumped onto one of the beds. The weight of his jump caused it to crack. "That was my bunk," Gwen said unhappily.

Some people tried to step on the cockroach while others jumped onto the beds in fear. "IT'S JUST ONE BUG GUYS!" I yelled as the cockroach dodged all the feet. Suddenly, Duncan came in.

And he was carrying a huge axe.

With all his might, Duncan swung the axe down. The cockroach was split in half with a sickening ripping sound, leaving its two halves wriggling on the ground. "Well, that's one way to kill a cockroach," said Gwen, apparently impressed. "Awesome," said Harold.

Tyler leaned in towards Lindsay, who Noah was still hiding behind. "If you ever see one of those again," Tyler said, "just let me know, K? 'Cause," he sniffed, "you know, I could do that too." I knew he wouldn't be able to, but Tyler and Lindsay looked at each other lovingly. "They always go for the jocks," remarked Duncan.

After that was over, we all headed to the mess hall and got into a line. Over the counter was a strong black man in an apron and chef hat with a tattoo. "Listen up!" he yelled, "I will serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab a tray, get your food, and sit your butts down NOW!" His loud yelling caused some silverware to rattle.

Chef (that's what his name was, apparently) yelled at some people and gave them their food. When I got to the front of the line, Chef plopped some slop on my tray. The slop started sliding off the tray by itself. I opened my mouth to complain, but remembering I was talking to a strong man holding a knife, I thought better of it and sat down with Harold, Bridgette and Sadie (I couldn't sit with Katie because the tables were divided by team.

Once I introduced Harold to the girls, we started talking again. Then Chris came in. "Campers, welcome to the main lodge!" he said. "Yo Chris," asked Geoff "could we, like, order a pizza or something?" Suddenly, an axe flew through the air and hit the wall. I almost screamed. "Yo, G!" said Geoff, "Brown slop is cool, right guys?" We all nodded nervously, not wanting to get on the bad side of a man with an axe.

"Your first challenge begins in 1 hour!" called Chris as he left. I turned back to Harold, Bridgette, and Sadie. "What do you think they'll make us do?" Sadie asked me. I smiled at her. "Hey, how hard could it be?" I replied.

Next thing I knew, I was standing on the top of a 1000 foot cliff.

What is the first challenge? Which team will come out on top? Will Jack be able to get on the good side of the rest of his team? Find out next chapter!


	3. Chapter 2 Not So Happy Campers Part 2

Ah, I'm back. Let's see what happens!

I stared down at the long fall. I shivered just looking at it. This wasn't going to be a very fun competition. I backed away from the cliff to the also scared Killer Bass.

"Ok, you're first challenge is three-fold," explained Chris. "You must take a 1000 foot cliff dive into the lake." This guy seemed to love the idea of us possibly dying.

"Piece of cake," said Bridgette confidently. "If you'll look down you'll notice two target areas," continued Chris. I didn't feel like looking down again. "The bigger area represents the part of the lake we have stocked with psychotic man-eating sharks." He almost burst out laughing when he said this. It's official. Chris is psycho.

"Inside there is a safe zone," Chris continued. "That is your target, which we're pretty sure is shark free." I remembered that the safe zone was REALLY small compared to the bigger area. Great.

"Excuse me?" complained LeShawna. "For each member of your team that jumps and, well, survives," continued Chris, not paying attention to LeShawna. "there will be a crate of supplies below. Inside each are supplies you'll need for the second part of the challenge. Building a hot tub!"

"The team that wins will get to have a wicked hot tub party. The losers will be sending someone home," continued Chris. "Let's see, Killer Bass, you're up first."

Bridgette looked over the cliff warily. "Oh, wow. So…. who wants to go first?" she asked. No one answered. I wanted to see how dangerous it actually was. Owen laughed. "Come on guys, I heard these shows always have interns test the stunts first to make sure their survivable." That made me feel a bit better. Just a bit.

"So, who's up?" asked Eva. "Ladies first," answered Duncan. Bridgette sighed. "Fine. I'll go," she said nervously. "It's nothing. Just an insane cliff dive into a pool of angry sharks." With that, she jumped off the cliff and disappeared.

I got up the courage to look over the cliff again. Bridgette had just landed into the safe zone. I sighed in relief. At least this challenge could be survived.

"She did it! Yeah! Yeah! I'm next," exclaimed Tyler, going back for a running start. He ran toward the end of the cliff, yelled "Cowabunga!", and then disappeared. I looked over to see Tyler on his way down. He landed in the safe zone….. well, on the buoy. He sank into the water. I winced. Tyler was not the jock he claimed to be.

Next down went Geoff, Eva, and Duncan, all landing in the safe zone. I sighed I knew it was my turn. "_Just one lurch forward, and it's all over,_" I thought in my mind. I put my foot forward, then the other, and that's when I realized I had just jumped off.

I screamed all the way down. It was such a rush, it was exhilarating. At first, it looked like I might not make it in the safe zone. But soon, I was hitting the cool water in the safe zone. A boat picked me up that had Geoff, Eva, and Duncan in it. Geoff high-fived me, but Eva and Duncan refused. Downers.

Next, Ezekiel jumped. He cheered until he hit a rock jutting out, which spun him into the safe zone. Bridgette, Tyler, Geoff, and I cheered for him. Then it was Harold's turn. I watched him fall down closer to us in split formation. He landed in the safe zone…… on his crotch. He gave a very loud scream of pain as he sunk into the water. He soon climbed onto the boat and joined Ezekiel as they rode back to shore.

I saw Courtney on the edge of the cliff. Chris walked up to her. They started talking. Courtney looked smug. Suddenly, Chris put a chicken on Courtney's head. She had chickened out. I glare at her from thousands of feet away.

Chris looked at his clipboard, then turned to the remaining two Bass, Sadie and Izzy. Sadie was holding Katie's hand. They then appeared to be complaining. They pushed their faces right up to Chris'. I could see Izzy faintly raise her hand and move away. Then Katie and Sadie jumped off the cliff….. together. I then realized what had happened. Katie and Izzy had switched teams. Katie was now a Killer Bass.

I was excited. Now all my friends were on my team. I cheered as Katie and Sadie both landed in the safe zone and climbed out of the water. That meant 10 out of the 11 had jumped. We had a chance to win this.

Heather started talking to the team. Everyone else except Lindsay looked annoyed. That' when LeShawna got up in her face. Heather leaned in. They appeared to be insulting each other. Everyone else backed away and looked scared or shocked. Then something shocking happened. LeShawna picked Heather up.

And threw her off the cliff.

I was shocked for a moment. Then I fell on the beach laughing. That was so epic. I wished I could have done that. Unfortunately, Heather landed in the safe zone. I was sad she wasn't killed.

Next, LeShawna jumped. She screamed, and landed in the safe zone next to Heather. Heather glared at her, but LeShawna just smiled.

Lindsay looked scared, and turned to Chris. Chris laughed about something, then frowned. Lindsay finally jumped into the safe zone. Gwen, Cody, Izzy, Noah, and Justin dove off next. I was horrified when Justin fell outside the safe zone.

The sharks neared him. The Gophers screamed for him to do something. I didn't want Justin to die.

Then something weird happened. The sharks opened their mouths to eat, but suddenly stopped. Then they smiled. Justin jumped on the sharks' backs and rode them to shore.

Oh, gosh. Even sharks were gay on this show.

Beth looked down the cliff, then turned to Chris and said something. Chris held up a chicken hat. I was relieved Beth had quit. Now only one Gopher would have to chicken out for us to win.

Only Trent and Owen were left. Trent high-fived Owen, then ran for the cliff. He jumped off and screamed, landing in the safe zone. I realized that Owen would have to jump, or there would be a tie.

The Screaming Gophers cheered for Owen. Owen put on some floaties and looked a bit scared. He sullenly walked back for a running start.

For a second, it looked like he might back down. Both teams waited nervously. Owen started running…… and jumped.

Owen screamed all the way down. It was very loud. Suddenly, when he hit the water, the world's biggest wave formed. I barely was able to dodge the overturned boat when a wave hit me. I toppled over.

"Yes! Yeah!" Owen exclaimed as he sat in the safe zone. All the Screaming Gophers cheered. I wondered what they would do for the tiebreaker.

Chris brought Courtney and Beth back up to the cliff. He said something to them, and they looked at each other nervously. Suddenly, without warning, Beth jumped off. She landed in the safe zone. Chris turned to Courtney, who shook her head. Then I realized what had happened. The tiebreaker was for the two to give another try at the dive, and whoever jumped would win for their team. In refusing, Courtney had lost us the challenge.

Chris announces the Gophers as the winners, and they all cheered. I hung my head down. I was so mad at Courtney, I would kill her.

For winning, the Gophers got a pull cart for their crates, while we were left to slowly push them along the beach. I tried to flip my crate over, but it took me a few minutes just to do that. Courtney tried to push hers. "Ow!" she exclaimed. "I think I just got a splinter." Oh, please. We could have been pushing them in cart if it weren't for her. Eva walked up to Courtney and, using her psychotic strength, picked up Courtney's crate easily. "Shut it and pick up your crate!" ordered Eva as she slammed the crate back down. I, for once, agreed with her.

"Hey, I'm the only one with CIT camping experience here. You need me," Courtney replied. Eva looked at me, and I gave her an I-agree-with-you look.

As we were walking down the beach, Tyler put his crate down. "I've gotta take a whizz," he said, walking the other way. "Hurry up, we're already behind," complained Eva, annoyed as usual. "Oh, I have to go too," said Katie, pushing a crate with Sadie. "You do, oh my gosh, me too!" exclaimed Sadie. Those girls do everything together. They followed Tyler into the woods.

A fly flew up to Courtney. When it was in line with her eye, she slapped it down. "Ow! I think something just bit me!" she said, pointing to her eye. Ha, it looked like she was pointing a gun to her head.

Soon, Katie, Sadie, and Tyler returned. "All better?" asked Eva unenthusiastically. "Yep," replied Katie. Courtney was still covering her eye. "Can we go now?" I think my eye is swelling," complained Courtney. Oh boo hoo.

We were taking a long time to get back to camp. Also, I noticed Katie and Sadie's butts looked really red. They started to scratch madly when Chris pulled up on an ATV.

"You guys are way behind the other team," he said. "Like, way behind. What's the problem?" Way too many problems.

"Their butts are itchy," explained Courtney. When I turned to her, I half-gasped, half-smiled. Her eye was really pink and puffy. It was closed almost the whole way. "Gah! Oh my boxers that's bad." exclaimed Chris. Oh my boxers?

Bridgette walked up to Katie and Sadie, who were still scratching their butts. "Did you guys squat down when you peed in the woods?" she asked. What kind of a question was that? "Yeah…." replied Katie questioningly. "Did you happen to notice what kind of plants you squatted on?" Bridgette asked. Wait a minute…….

"They were kind of oval-shaped and green and all over the place," replied Sadie, still scratching. "Were they low to the ground? About this big?" Bridgette asked, displaying the size she was asking about. The two girls nodded. "Guys, you squatted in poison ivy."

Katie and Sadie stared at Bridgette wide-eyed. Then they started yelling and freaking out. Chris laughed. "No way! That's awesome!" he exclaimed as Katie and Sadie scooted around on the ground. I wanted to punch Chris right about then.

Harold, Ezekiel, Courtney, and I finally made it to the campgrounds, where the Gophers were almost done unloading all their hot tub parts. We put our crates down. "Finally," Harold sighed, gasping for breath.

"Hey, what's up?" asked Trent nicely. Suddenly, Leshawna popped up from inside a crate. "Aren't you guys missing a couple of white girls?" she asked. We looked around. At that point, we were too tired to notice that only the four of us were there. "They're….. getting a drink," said Courtney. "If they drink with their butts," joked Harold. The male Bass snickered.

Soon, the other Bass arrived. Geoff stood on all the crates. "K, dudes, it's not too late," motivated Geoff, "We can do this!" Meanwhile, Harold was sleeping and drooling, Courtney was looking down, Ezekiel was picking his nose, and…….. OK, I was too. I pick my nose. DON'T JUDGE ME! "Ew!" exclaimed Courtney, looking at us. I took my finger out immediately, but Ezekiel wiped it on his pants. "What?" he asked. "That's really gross," shuddered Bridgette. "It's a bad habit from when I was little, OK?" I explained.

Courtney stood up, which woke up Harold. "OK guys, we have a hot tub to complete, and we need a project manager," she said. "Since I've actually been a CIT before, I'm electing myself. Any objections?" Duncan rolled his eyes. "What should we do, Cyclops?" he asked.

"I have one," I said. Everyone turned to me. "Excuse me?" Courtney asked, annoyed she was being opposed. "Let me get this straight. You cost us the win in the first challenge, do nothing but complain, and you expect us to LISTEN to you?" I yelled angrily, getting up in her face. "Pick Nose has a point," said Eva. Courtney scowled, then stormed away. I turned back to the team. "OK, let's get to work!"

The hot tub building was a disaster. Not only were we way behind, we were horrible at working together. The hot tub wouldn't fit together, Tyler and Duncan fought over the hammer, and Harold kept getting hit.

Finally, it was time for Chris to judge us. Our hot tub sucked, while it looked like the Gophers built theirs perfectly. Chris went over to the Gopher hot tub and inspected it. We all waited nervously. "This is an awesome hot tub!" he exclaimed. The Gophers cheered. Then Chris walked over to our hut tub. There was a seagull in it. That was bad.

Chris tapped the hot tub, and a stream of hot water burst out. Suddenly, the whole thing shook, and fell apart. Well, it was obvious who won. "Well, I think we have a winner…….. the Screaming Gophers!" he exclaimed, which was responded to by more cheering by the Gophers. The Killer Bass were sad. One of us would not be here tomorrow morning.

"Gophers, you are safe from elimination, and you get to rock this awesome hot tub for the whole summer!" Chris announced. "Bonus!" The Gophers cheered again.

"Killer Bass, what can I say, sucks to be you right now. I'll see your sorry butts at the bonfire," said Chris. None of us said anything. Then Owen started dancing.

Naked. Oh god.

Later, we were all eating dinner a few hours before the elimination ceremony. Well, none of us were really eating it, just poking at it. Katie spoke up. "So…. what do we do now?" she asked. "We have to figure out who we're going to vote off," said Courtney, still with her chicken hat and swelling eye.

"Well, I think it should be Princess, or Pick Nose here," said Duncan, pointing to Courtney and I. I was shocked. What had I done?

Courtney was thinking the same thing. "What? Why me?" she asked. "Because, if I'm not mistaken, you two are the only ones bossing people around," Duncan replied. "And if we ever have to do a trivia game, I like our odds with the nerd." Courtney gasped. "You guys need me! I'm the only one-"

Bridgette interrupted her. "We know, who used to be a real CIT. So who would you pick?" Courtney looked around. Everyone was looking at her expectantly. "What about….. him?" She pointed at Tyler. "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!" shouted Lindsay from the other table. The mess hall went silent. "I mean…. no salt, there's no salt on the table. Bummer." she covered up. Ah, love.

"Hey, man, at least he jumped off the cliff, Darling." said Duncan. "SHUT IT!" yelled Courtney. Geoff interrupted them. "Ok, let's just chill out, this is getting way too heavy," he said. That guy certainly knew how to calm people down. "I think I've had enough prison food for one day. I'm gonna have a nap." He got up and walked away.

"You can't do that!" called Courtney. "We haven't decided who's going yet!" Ezekiel spoke up. "I don't get how we lost, ay," he said. "I mean, they're the team with six girls."

I dropped my spoon in shock. That was a really bad move. Everyone gasped, and Bridgette and Eva closed in on him. Bridgette slammed her hand down on the table. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily. "Yeah Homeschool, enlighten us!" said Eva, slamming down her fist. "Well, guys are much stronger and better at sports then girls are," Ezekiel replied. Oh gosh.

"Oh snap, he did NOT just say that!" said Geoff. "My dad told me to look out for the girls here, ay," continued Ezekiel, "and help 'em, in case they can't keep up." That boy is dead.

Eva grabbed Ezekiel's neck and pulled him up from the table. "Still think we need help keeping up?" she asked angrily. "Ugh…. not… really," replied Ezekiel, gasping for breath. Geoff popped in. "OK guys, let's give him a break," he said, which made Eva drop Ezekiel to the ground. "I mean, at least he doesn't think that guys are smarter than girls."

"But, they are."

And that was it. As we left to go vote, I went up to Harold, Bridgette, Katie, and Sadie, and whispered one word to them before walking off.

"Courtney"

Later, we were at the bonfire ceremony. I looked around at everyone sitting there. There were only a few I wanted to leave. That's when Chris walked in holding a plate of marshmallows. "Dude, you have a lot to learn about the real world," Duncan told Ezekiel before Chris started.

"Killer Bass, at camp marshmallows represent a yummy treat that you enjoy roasting by the fire," Chris said. "At this summer camp, marshmallows represent life. You've all cast your votes and made your decisions. There are only 10 marshmallows on my plate. When I call your name come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers. That means you're out of the contest. And you can't come back. E-vur." We all frowned. Oh man. I hoped this wouldn't end as quickly as it had started for me.

"The first marshmallow goes to……. Geoff." Geoff smiled, ran up, and Chris put a marshmallow on his stick.

"Tyler." Tyler put his long, lanky arms in the air. "Yeah, place at the table!" He ran up and received his marshmallow.

"Katie." Katie stood up and walked to join the others. "Bridgette." Bridgette followed Katie.

"Harold." Harold pumped his fist. "Yes!" he exclaimed as he went for his marshmallow.

"Sadie." Chris said as Sadie shook her fingers in hope. "Oh yay!" she exclaimed as she left. I was getting a bit nervous now.

"Eva." Eva walked up for her marshmallow with no expression on her face. "Duncan." Duncan got up smiling.

OK, I was freaking out in my mind now. What if I was eliminated? No one remembers the first person off.

"And…… Jack." I was so relieved then. I felt as if a great load had been lifted. I received my marshmallow and high-fived Harold.

"Campers," said Chris dramatically, "this is the final marshmallow of the evening. Courtney and Ezekiel started to shake. It was a long pause. Courtney and Ezekiel looked at each other in anticipation. Chris started to say something. The two remaining Bass dropped their sticks to the ground, wide-eyed. Chris waved his finger up and went to point at a camper. It moved between the two. Courtney…… Ezekiel….. Courtney……. Ezekiel……

My mind was screaming WHO IS IT? WHO! Chris tapped his chin, as if he was deciding who would leave. Courtney pulled her chicken hat down.

"…….. Ezekiel," said Chris finally. I let go of my breath. I was so happy Courtney was going home. Courtney looked shocked as Ezekiel went to get the final marshmallow.

"WHAT?" Courtney screamed at us. "You voted for Homeschool over me?" she asked angrily. "Well, duh," I said.

Courtney was hauled by her arm by Chef. "I DO NOT CONCEDE!" she yelled as Chef threw her into the Boat of Losers. "I was your only hope! I was a CIT!"

"WE KNOW!" we all yelled. Then the boat rode away, taking the screaming, complaining, over-bossy Courtney with it.

Chris turned back to us. "Congrats campers. You're safe……. for now." I was relieved as I enjoyed my marshmallow. I had never tasted a marshmallow so good. It tasted like safety and happiness. We all headed back to our cabins. I climbed into my bed, onto the lumpy mattress.

_"I'm safe," _I thought as I fell asleep. _"I'm safe…….."_

So, now you know I'm not canon with the eliminations. What will come of Jack in the next challenge? Who will win? Who will be voted off? Find out next time!


End file.
